Published: 12/10/2025By: Toby Jacob
There’s nothing more exciting than meeting someone new, we get it, but that doesn’t mean you can let your guard down just yet. Sure, they may give you butterflies or make you happy, but what if they’re hiding something? Or what if they’re not even who they claim to be? These are only some of the red flags you have to look out for when you’re dating someone.
While we’re not the dating police, we are here to help you avoid red flags in dating. Read on to learn more about what they are and how to find them.
What Are Red Flags in Dating?
It’s important to know what red flags are in dating before you start learning how to find them or what you can expect. Essentially, red flags in dating are warning signs that someone isn’t right for you.
These can be personal problems you have with certain personality traits, or even more serious problems like abusive tendencies. Ultimately, red flags in dating range from simple icks to serious personality flaws you should avoid for your safety.
Why Finding Red Flags in Dating Is Important
Finding red flags before they find you is one of the best things you can do for yourself when you’re dating someone. The last thing you want to do is end up married to someone you can’t stand.
Aside from finding out if you’re not compatible with someone early on, that’s not the only reason why finding red flags is important. For example, if it’s a subtle red flag that’s not an abusive one, you can talk it out with your partner before ending the relationship to see if they can recognize and fix it.
Overall, it’s a good idea to be on your guard early on and spot red flags whenever you can. Doing so improves your quality of relationships and how long they last.
5 Common Red Flags in Dating
Knowing what red flags are and understanding why it’s important to spot them are great, but it also helps to have some examples of what red flags in dating look like. We cover some of the most notable red flags you should look for below.
1. Abusive Tendencies
First and foremost, a big red flag in dating is someone who has abusive tendencies. If you notice that someone has a lot of violent thoughts or tries to shout at or harm you, it’s a good idea to get out of there as soon as possible. You can also look for other warning signs, including a lack of empathy, anger issues, and aggressive tendencies with you and others.
This also applies to all genders because anyone can be abusive, so always stand up for yourself and set the necessary boundaries to avoid abuse.
2. Controlling Behaviors
If anyone is trying to control you, it’s a red flag. People will try and control others in different ways, but some common examples include:
- Limiting time with friends
- Making you choose between them and your friends
- Isolating you from friends and family
- Ensuring they have access to your device
- Tracking your location
- Not giving you time alone
These are only a few examples of controlling behavior, and you’ll find that there are a lot of other ways that people try to control others. This tends to stem from jealousy or a lack of self-confidence on their end, so if you notice these personality traits early, it may be a red flag.
3. Poor Communication
When someone doesn’t communicate properly, it’s a problem. It may be small things like not answering your texts or leaving you on read, or it may be lying to you, not knowing how to express themselves, and much more.
Overall, you need to make sure your communication styles match, or you can end up dealing with someone who doesn’t communicate well with you in the future.
4. Everyone Else is the Bad Guy
If you notice that someone doesn’t have many friends or they don’t get along with others, it’s a red flag. This can also be more subtle, and if you notice that in every story they tell, they’re never in the wrong, how do you think that will go during a fight?
For these reasons, it’s important to pay attention to how they behave and interact with others, even during introductions or things like interactions with waiters.
5. Love Bombing
We have to cover love bombing because while it might feel great when someone showers you with gifts, it’s usually a red flag. Sure, the occasional gift of flowers, candy, or even more expensive gifts is fine, but if this is happening daily or even weekly, it may be a red flag.
Love bombing can be a red flag for a few reasons – the first one being that they’re trying to fill a void in their own life. However, people may also use love bombing to get out of fights or to gaslight you. Therefore, it’s important to be mindful of this behavior.
How to Find Red Flags in Dating
Knowing that red flags are out there is only part of the battle. It’s important to find red flags before you end up in a relationship with someone you don’t like, or worse, someone dangerous. The good news is that we have a handful of tips and tools to help you find red flags in dating. Learn more below.
1. People Search
The best way to find red flags in dating is to use one of our people search tools. You can use our people search tool by entering someone’s first and last name, state, and location. From there, we’ll help you uncover any information that’s publicly available. This will help you find criminal records, social media accounts, dating profiles, and just about anything else that someone may be hiding from you.
With our people search tools, you don’t have to press someone about their past, and you can find anything that sticks out as a red flag to you right away. This can save you a lot of trouble and awkward conversations. Plus, you can find hidden dating platforms and secret social media accounts that are a red flag for you.
2. Reverse Phone Lookup
If you’ve met someone on a dating app and have taken it off the platform, to texting and calling, it may seem like things are going well, but it’s good to be sure. You want to make sure the person you’re speaking to is who they claim they are before you end up meeting the wrong person or falling in love with a catfish.
The good news is that you can spot red flags with our reverse phone lookup tool. Simply enter their phone number into our tool to find all available records related to the phone number. Therefore, if someone is claiming to be Cindy but the tool is showing you that Hank owns the phone number, you know you’re dealing with a hefty red flag.
Observe Their Behaviors
While you can find a lot of red flags about someone by using one of our tools, sometimes you have to go about it the old-fashioned way. This means that you need to spot red flags in their behavior when they start to present themselves.
Pay attention to how someone acts around their friends, family members, and others to see their true colors. For example, a lack of empathy for others, overreacting to certain circumstances, and low frustration tolerance can all be red flags, according to Louisiana Delta Community College.
Spotting these behaviors early will prevent you from jumping into the wrong commitment.
What Are Some Green Flags in Dating?
We’ve covered a lot of red flags in dating and how you can navigate them, but what about the good ones? While you should always look for red flags, you should also be keeping an eye out for green flags, or signs that someone is a good match.
Some examples of green flags in dating include:
- Good communication
- High emotional intelligence
- Respect for your boundaries
- Kindness
- Respect for other people
- Conflict resolution
- Honesty
- Trustworthy
- Has friends
- Close with family but not overbearing
- Positive reinforcement
These are only some green flags you’ll come across when dating, and you may even have some personal ones as well. While you have to watch out for red flags, make sure you’re taking some time to evaluate the good parts of their personalities as well.
Navigating the Red Flags of Dating
Red flags in dating are important to recognize because you’ll save yourself a lot of trouble, heartache, and sometimes even money. Unfortunately, spotting red flags in dating is easier said than done, especially if the person you’re dating isn’t very forthcoming about their past.
The good news is that our people search tools can help you uncover anything that’s publicly available, so if you’re ever unsure about someone, you can run their name, phone number, or address through one of our tools.
Aside from our tools, make sure you’re paying attention to their personalities, how they interact with family, and other subtle personality traits that may be red flags.
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